"She's a tough one..."

Minnie is in MY opinion... NOT an "easy" baby... This is again, for the record, my blog and MY place to vent things, keep track of things and voice MY opinions... I have turned comments off because at this point in the game I'm not in a good place to receive them. Good or bad.

We started with the feeding issues... she was peeing, pooping and sleeping THROUGH THE NIGHT at 9 1/2 weeks old... she was fine right after she ate until about an hour or so later when she would FREAK about what we thought... either her gas issues or going to sleep... we didn't know....

so now... we have those under control... I Bfeed her, I give her a bottle when she's done with me, then I pump and less than 2 hours later we do it all over again.

She still is unhappy.

We think its teeth.

We think it's sleep. Lack there of, or getting too much. (ha! like I ACTUALLY believe you can GET too much sleep....)

She wakes up in the middle of the night anywhere from 0-3 times and is up FOR THE DAY between 4-5:30 AM. The four AM... THAT'S a tough one. NO one is happy at that hour... not Mama NOT baby....

We stay home because that is what "the book" and some of my friends say to do in order for her to get good rest. She SCREAMS if she does not want to be in her bed. I've let her go. I've let her "cry it out". She's Italian. She never caved. I did. After an hour I got her up. What's the point. I'm not happy. She's not happy. Mine as well get up.

We go out because that is what "the book" and some of my friends say in order for her to adapt to my life and my schedule. This mama is going a little nutty with NO fresh outside air and no socialization. She naps in the car until we get to our destination whether it be 5 min. or 50 min away and then she's up for the duration of wherever we are. Typically happy... but up nonetheless.

Some people think that your baby is a reflection of you as a Mom as far as stressed/high maintenance. I MYSELF think children are products of their enviroments... Is that why Minnie is the way she is? I have been referred to as "high maintenance" (not a compliment in my book) but it forces me to look at WHY I'm viewed that way and is my daughter the same as me? Did I create this little unhappy creature because she is a product of her environment?

No one said it would be easy... and I wasn't naive enough to think it would be. Trust me. But I also didn't realize (and everyone said this is how it would be and that you don't get it until you have your own) how much I LOVE HER and how much I WANT to make her happy and it kills me when she isn't....I get that we are in this for the long haul and there is much ahead of her that isn't going to make her happy... I guess it is just staying focused on the fact that at every bump in the road... "it won't be like this for long"...