These things have been swirling around in my head for a few months now... and I'm still not sure that it is going to make sense when I type it out but you all know how I like keeping track of things and this is one that had all consumed my life....and I have not kept track of it...at least here.
The pain has been getting worse... back in November sweet Liz did some "gentle" nudging ;) and made a few phone calls that were just TOO much for me. Some times it is just picking up the phone that is the scariest part... at least for me. My PCP had recommended a few months prior that I get in to see a health consultant/medical intuitive. She thought it would be beneficial to see if this other woman could "sense" anything other than RA as a diagnosis. So... I went to see her. She did some muscle testing before she even started talking about any of my history or why I was there or what I had already been diagnosed with... she did a few tests and claimed "you have LYME". She then did a few other tests and an hour later sent me out with three supplements and a LIST of foods NOT to eat.
Two days before Thanksgiving and Minnie's birthday party weekend.
I committed to the modified diet, in a nutshell, no gluten, dairy, sugar, corn, pork....etc.....thank the GOOD LORD that I had already done the 30 Day stint back in April/May. I had things already in my knowledge bank and then yet again... sweet Liz came along side and said... I'll support you. I'll go gluten free... Power in numbers for sure ;)
But even so... emotionally it was REALLY hard. A couple of weeks into it and I was struggling. I was keeping things in and putting up walls... getting depressed and not caring. That dividing line down my brain where one side knew what was going on and could see the decline and the other side didn't care.
I went back to see the PCP, explained what happened at the health consultant and expressed my concerns about at LYME diagnosis. She validated my concerns and decided to a GAZILLION (9 vials worth) of blood tests and put me back on the antibiotic I was on this summer after the tick bite. She also encouraged me to continue with the Rx from the RA doc. She said it could have some LYME killing properties.
For about 2 months I gave it about 98.9%... as the time has gone on... as things feel the same and worse, it gets more and more challenging. I'm a girl who barely ever took 2 Advil... now I have a line up of natural supplements, oils and Rx's. Things to take with food, things that can't be taken within 2 hours of other things, things to take twice a day, things to day once a day....
and taking FOUR of these when I just can't deal... and even then it doesn't touch it on an especially "bad day"
Emotionally, the past few weeks have been exhausting, tough, freeing and insightful. The Lord has placed things in my path that are JUST for me. He has given me nuggets to just get through and most recently opportunities to spend last weekend listening to some wonderful speakers who spoke truth straight to my soul. (Lauren Chandler, Jen Hatmaker, David Platt and Bianca Olthoff)
Yesterday, I scheduled an appointment with the Rheumatologist. A different one than I had seen before but in the same office. It has been a year. I've tried different things, we've spent $$ as natural things are not covered by insurance. I've been loved, supported and encouraged... but I'm in pain. I'm at the point where financially it makes the most sense to pursue the "big guns". If remission is the goal... if pain-free is what is at the end of their tunnel... I'm ready.
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